Stylish Dads – Interview Guide - Your Insights Welcome Plus Hear From Dad's Style Founder, AJ Burns

Hearing from Stylish Dads on their Style Journey, If and How Fatherhood Changed their Style as well as Advice, Insights, Recommendations and General Good Vibes - and Testing our Interview Guide

Note - Below is the Interview Guide I am hoping to use with the (many) interviewees I have in mind for the Stylish Dad’s section of the site. I am a firm believer in do not ask others to do something you would not do yourself, so I have tested it on myself below. Hopefully this gives you a bit more of an introduction to me – and a way to get your thoughts on this interview structure. Any you thinking is missing? Or if you think it is too long*, what would you focus on (what interests you most)? Any other suggestions? Comments and emails welcome. Thanks

*Remember - It will seem much shorter when more interesting people are interviewed!

[Ed’s Note - Pictures of Interviewee Throughout – Ideally, underutilised, related to Dad’s Style or with kids. Most likely not original / my own given COVID, travel, Australian remoteness, life etc. - here I get to chose ones that flatter me]

Introducing AJ Burns of Dad’s Style

[Ed’s Note - Intro to Interviewee – Who they are, why I admire them and relation to Dad’s Style (both this site – ie any interaction we have had, plus the look of “Dad’s Style”]

Well, I will not do an intro for myself by myself – there is enough of that self-indulgence below.

Questions

[Ed’s Note – interviewees can ignore / delete any question they wish – without explanation. We only want them to share what they are comfortable with after all. My request if the interviews is too long / they are too busy, they focus on Style, Dad’s Style and Dad’s Life as key sections]

About

Tell Us About Yourself [Ed’s Note - Brief intro to give audience context – it is always interesting to hear how people describe themselves / what they highlight]

AJ Burns, 37 (today! 8th October), father of two boys. Have lived in Melbourne, Australia since May 2008. Born and raised in wonderful Edinburgh – move to Australia to be with my (now) wife, who I met when I was travelling around the world*. Working in the Business Operation side of a large software company leading a small team and am very close to completing my MBA through Melbourne Business School.

I have a long term interest in menswear, which you can read about in the first few posts on this site, and started this site as a way to share information, connect with people I admire and indulge my passion. Outside of menswear, I love movies, literature, travel and, most recently (and possibly dangerous for my wallet), watches.

*Between April 2006-2007 travelled overland between Moscow and Mumbai through Russia, Mongolia, China, Tibet, Nepal and India, then travelled around Thailand, Australia, New Zealand (including working on a dairy farm) and drove across the USA (a little of Mexico and Canada)

What about your kids? [Ed’s Note – have asked interviewees to add as much or as little as they are comfortable sharing here (ideally at least number of children and ages) – it is to give context and some background (as Michael Williams advises in his Dad Things article – talk to people with kids around the same age)]

I have two boys, Archie (nearly 2 and a half) and John, known as Jack (just turned 1). They are a joy to be with and make my wife Amy and I smiled and laugh every day (not to say there are not tricky moments!).

Do you have a daily routine or is everyday different? [Ed’s Note – again, have just asked interviewees to share what they are comfortable with – in one sense trying to understand how much having kids influences a schedule or if their schedule needs to be more ad hoc, how they handle that]

I am a man who works better with a routine (my friends tease me about how much I have to plan everything) so most days there is a bit of a routine. At the moment, given we are still in a pretty strict lockdown in Melbourne, I am working from home – in the sunny beachside suburb of St Kilda.

Every weekday morning I take the boys for a walk and a play in a park. Sometimes I do a run too (which must make me look like a madman with a double pram) and I am starting to get a bit of rhythm back to my running. We generally have lunch and dinner as a family (meetings depending) and I usually do the bath with the boys, which tends to be a lot of fun. Then 7pm is their bedtime and Amy and I do the various jobs then relax, read, watch TV etc. It might sound a little boring, but I love it. I have recently started jotting down 3 highlights (big or small) at the end of each day, which has helped me appreciate all the wonderful little moments.

The weekends are a little different – though with lockdown in place it is mostly just more walks and parks. Looking forward to friends and cafes and trips to the cinema again soon.

Is there anything else people should know about you?

I also have another site where I keep images of style etc that interest me – www.linenforsummertweedforwinter.tumblr.com. Before moving to Australia, I worked in radio with the BBC. What else? Hmmm…I only figured out how to blow up a balloon when I was about 30 (don’t ask…but if you were struggling like me the second big blow is key!).

Style

Tell us about your style journey – where did it start and what paths have you taken?

I was interested in clothes from a young age – and as a teenager, it started veering towards the preppy / traditional British public school look – shirts and polos, chinos and cords, deck shoes etc. As I got into work I then got into quality tailoring and good shoes – first Loakes, then a great pair of Church’s. Suits first from Daks and TM Lewin before moving to P Johnson and Drakes for most of my menswear needs.

On the casual side, I have always like a bit of fun – colourful socks (but not “quirky”, just plain red, pink etc), bright shirts and so on. More recently that has moved more to the Japanese / workwear side of things, Visvim (including FBTs), indigo (like Blue Blue Japan) as well as lots of stuff from my good friend Christian Kimber. I just ordered myself a birthday gift of a denim shirt given he is having a little lockdown sale (use promo ‘Lockdown” for 25% - no kickbacks here, it is just great stuff). Seriously, check him out (interview and diving deeper into my CK kit to come).

Who have been your inspirations throughout the journey?

Some of my good friends here in Melbourne who I met through menswear are the biggest influence on my style, including Christian, Gerry and Ian. Otherwise, the man I nicknamed The Master, Noboru Kakuta, is one of the best dressed out there (follow the links to go down the rabbit hole). Other people that always look great including John Wrazej of Ralph Lauren (the living lookbook), Nick Sullivan of Esquire and Sid Mashburn of the Mashburn empire.

What is one item in your wardrobe that means something special to you?

Probably my kilts from Geoffrey (Tailor) Kiltmakers in Edinburgh and everything that goes with them. I got what I now call my “winter kilt” for my 21st birthday (as is tradition in Scotland) and after suffering through a few too many hot summer wedding here in Australia got a “summer kilt” (lighter but not exactly light weight). I keep the summer one here in Melbourne and the winter one back in Edinburgh (as a family we always wear then for Christmas). The winter kilt is in my family tartan, Burns Modern, and the summer kilt in my clan tartan, Campbell.

With them, I always wearing my sgian duhn (small knife worn in the sock) which was given to me by my grandfather when I was 13 (and passed to him at that age), a bowtie I had made for my wedding (black backed in black watch tartan) and a pair of cufflinks I got for myself and my groomsmen.

Dad’s Style

How has your style changed since you became a Dad?

It has, unsurprisingly got a little more casual, but the world is going that way too and the pandemic / WFH has influence that too. That said, I have embraced the Dad’s Style approach – or at least the good things of it – sneakers, practical outerwear plus just the other day I got a pair of Hunter wellington boots so I can join my boys running through puddles. A lot of the stuff I buy now, I think how hard wearing is this, will it wash/wipe easily as well as it is “stylish”.

Are there any items of Dad’s Kit you use regularly and/or recommend?

Sure – and I will write about these on the site in future. Sneakers – NB, Nike, Christian Kimber – need to be comfortable and able to chase the kids while looking good. Jeans – I have had RRL for years which wear in beautiful but am leaning toward Orslow’s 107 Ivy Fit now (I have 3 pairs in different washes) as they are a little higher rise (good for all the bending over and picking stuff up you need to do – plus a little more flattering for Dad Bods). Good outerwear – as your kids don’t care if it is raining, cold etc – they just want to be out – a Barbour Bedale is great as it can take a beating, has plenty of pockets (this site logo is my son’s toy monkey in my Barbour pocket). I am sure there are plenty of other things and we will address them in good time.

Are there any items or outfits you avoid wearing around your kids?  [Ed’s Note – this could be for practical reasons, embarrassment (to them), cost or whatever]

I general wear nearly everything around my kids – including all white outfits (living on the edge) as my theory is they are just clothes and they can wash or get some new patina. That say, the item I rarely wear when with my family is my Visvim FBTs – but that is more because my wife finds them embarrassing!

When I got to into the office (pre-March 2020 days) I often changed when I got home for practical reasons – but it was never a huge deal.  

Dad Life

What has surprised you most since becoming a Dad?

It seems stupid to say, but the thing I was most surprised by was how relentless it is. This is not necessarily a good or bad thing, just that you never really turn off – if your kid needs something, you sort it – so you are always on. The other thing I am pleasantly surprised by is how much I love it – I wanted to be a Dad for such a long time and it has proved to be everything I hoped and more.

Have you learnt any specific lessons which stand out?Or any major challenges? If so, have you figure out how to handle them? [Ed’s Note – sharing is caring]

Sharing ideas and experiences with other parents really helps and I always try to remind myself now is not forever (ie if you are finding something tricky – like teething or an unsettled sleep cycle know it will change, quickly and regularly, especially with kids). Fortunately, touch wood, we have been really lucky with our boys so far – including doing 2 trips back to Scotland (when Archie was 3 months old, then when Jack was 3 months old).

My main thing is to try to be present and try to not get sucked into work or my phone (still working on the latter!). The journalling I mention above has helped me appreciate and notice the small joys. This combined with exercise, a good diet (when I can) and a little meditation helps me keep my mental health in check – and therefore be a good father and husband (or the best I can be).

Pandemic (as what is a 2020 Interview without some COVID Related Questions)

What have been the major changes to your life since the Global Pandemic started?

Predominantly, just working from home all the time. So therefore around the boys and my wife all the time. It has taken a little time to find our rhythm but we are figuring it out as we go.

Do you have any tips to share based on your experiences?

One thing for me was to put on a pair of shoes (even if only Birkenstock Bostons) for work – it seems to put me in the right mood to be productive. The other thing is to be flexible – both with yourself and those you work with. Kids and life do not run to your schedule or that of the meetings booked into your calendar – just try to ride and enjoy the waves. Be productive when you can as much as you can and take breaks when needed.

What silver linings have you found or do you expect to come?

Spending more time with my boys and my wife has been wonderful. It has been amazing to watch them grow day by day and to be much more involved in their life. I have also started doing family Zoom calls all together (I have a brother in Wales, one in Finland as well as my parents and sister back in Edinburgh). It has also allowed my wife and me to reconsider what is most important to us – and how to focus on those things.

Outside my little bubble, it seems people are a little kinder and caring – and we seem to be giving the more important things in life higher priority (like family, the environment, a sense of well being and purpose).

Do you have any predictions of what is next or what is still to change?

It is (obviously) difficult to say, but I do not see a vaccine or hard stop to the situation. I think we will all just have to figure out how to deal with it and weigh up the risks and costs. Ideally, the sense of kindness and prioritisation on important thing stays, but humans have an incredible ability to forgot or brush things under the carpet. I think the flexibility around work and WFH will continue as casualisation in dress codes, but also that we will take more pleasure and pride in dressing up when the occasion calls for it.

Recommendations

Do you have any music recommendations for kids?(To cheer them up, get them dancing, teach them something etc)

Yes – Back Pocket by Vulfpeck always gets both boys up and dancing as does Dance Monkey by local act, Tones and I. I have started a little playlist – Songs for the Boys to keep track of songs they enjoy.

Do you have any music recommendation for Dads/adults? (Especially to deal with life/kids)

For the last few weeks I have been listening to the beautiful Fear and Love by Morcheeba as I make coffee in the morning – it just soothes me into the day. The other song I have had on repeat recently is Palaces of Montezuma by Grinderman – as a long term Nick Caves/Bad Seeds fan, I cannot believe I only just got turned on to Grinderman. I have been adding some of my favourite songs which are getting me through lockdown to the playlist – Socially Distanced, Emotionally Together.

Any book recommendations for kids?

Some of the classics, like the Tiger Who Came to Tea (Judith Kerr) and Each Peach Pear Plum (Allan and Janet Ahlberg), always work a charm. A few more unknown ones we are enjoying are Archie and the Bear (Louise Zanni and David Macintosh) and How Do You Dance (Thyra Heder).

Plus everyone with very young kids should try anything by Mem Fox and Julia Donaldson.

Any book recommendations for Dads/adults?

I always have a stack of books making me feel guilty at my bedside table. Due to my MBA plus the lack of sleep that comes with young kids, my reading has been a little lax until recently. Two lesser known authors I would recommend for those outside Australia are Steve Toltz and Trent Dalton. I have Dalton’s brand new All Our Shimmering Stars lined up as my next read and have heard great thing. Currently, I am reading Emily St John Mandel’s Station Eleven – which is, appropriately, about a world pandemic.

Any Podcasts you can recommend? Related to Dad’s life, style or just unknow/unusual especially welcome

I listen to all the menswear ones – Blamo!, Handcut Radio, Throwing Fits and How Long Gone (both guest depending) as well as Hodinkee Radio. One that might not be on many people’s radar yet is Central Division which is a subscriber only endeavour from Michael Williams of A Continuous Lean and David Coggins of The Contender (it comes as a nice bundle with both of their newsletters). It is a fun listen if you fall in their Venn Diagram – and I even got a callout in Episode 5 after seeking some advice from Mr Williams (more on this later).

Any pieces of kit or tools you recommend for surviving (Dad’s) life?

Every once in a while you need a drink and the best whisky I (a proud Scotsman) have even had is the PX version of Laphroaig (all of their whiskies are great but the PX is something else!). I love a cold beer at the end of the day, but if like me, you found your drinking increased just a little too much during lockdown it is worth looking for a good non-alcoholic version – for those in Australia, Heaps Normal is amazing.

Any other random things or advice you would like to share? [Ed’s Note – would be good to know if I have missed a key category here]

I have recently subscribed to the emails from The Daily Dad. Do not let the website design put you off, their daily email is short and thought provoking (like Seth’s Blog for Dads). It is by Ryan Holiday, famous for writing on the Stoics, with contributions from others such as Charlamagne tha God. They also have a podcast which I have yet to listen to, but the episodes are approx. 2 mins each so I like that bite size approach [Ed.s Note - unlike this interview!].

Where to Find You / Further Readings

Where to find you?

Here! But also, @dads_style_blog on Instagram and at www.linenforsummertweedforwinter.tumblr.com – maybe hopefully a few other publications down the line.

Is there anything else you want people to check out?

If you are not following, get onto @gezzaseyes, his Instagram posts feature some great fits. And this clip of Alanis Morrisette singing her new song Ablaze on Jimmy Fallon is WFH at its finest (and a real heartstring puller – hat tip to The Daily Dad for this recommendation).

Further Readings [Ed’s Note – articles and interviews with the interviewee that seem relevant]

See some initial thoughts on what this site is aiming to be and where we are starting from.

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[Final Ed’s Note - Thank you so much for taking the time to read this far. If you have any suggestions – either to make this better for others or on things which should be included (or excluded) please let me know. Your support is so very much appreciated – AJ]